neon – Ashish Seth

We come alive at night with the treble low and the bass high.
Spend the first hour driving around aimlessly because we can.
The lights all neon like in color spread across the streets carried by rain water.
And after a cold streak I turn around and speak in a possessed whisper:

Life is a dress up.
Or
Life is a constant struggle to mess up.
Or
Life is how you dress up a wound in front of people.
Or
Life is a 2 hour test you study for 16 hours.
Or
Life is a random occurrence made deliberate.
Or
Life is a deliberate purpose made accidental.
Or
Life is the three words said to a person out of desperation.
Or
Life is the hesitation to say the truth to said person.
Or
Life is a talk with a lack of macho emphasis.
Or
Life is too much emphasis on too few sentences.
Or
Life is pretending to be okay when you’re not.
Or
Life is pretending to be hurt when you’re okay.
Or
Life is a movie hall filled to capacity.
Or
Life is a provoked state of brevity for the hasty.
Or
Life is not having to worry about people’s ears.
Or
Life is a bite of expensive pie only meant for your mouth.
Or
Life is a drink from the river we all drink out of.

The bowling balls are getting heavy
I’m about to leave in someone else’s clothes.
Were we ever meant to be? is a redundant question.
Yes, once in a time of pressure and spontaneity.
The only thing we agreed upon was we were both frightened.
I must’ve convinced myself I liked you on purpose.
And that’s how I found myself by accident.
Too many stops for gas on the road to the destination.
If no two roads are alike, then why should I map my path to another person’s life?
Our fears keep us up at night.
Our hopes keep us up tonight.

Anxious, and terrified but alive.

By Ashish Seth
https://twitter.com/TheAshishSeth

Everything I ever wanted was a vague concept I was following with so many notions stretched out like a starry night. For most of my life I couldn’t pinpoint the process but now it is the smile on someone’s face. Somebody tell me the science behind this transmutation. Maybe one day things will work out and we will all be fulfilled but right now we are lone figures sitting at bar pubs drinking hard. It’s night out and we hear crooners and moans against fingerplucked guitars better suited around fires. Under the lamplight outside the bar door, my shadow reflects dim and small on the cement platform.

It’s nights like these that become us. We look at full moons and ask ourselves why our most foolish plans come from the heart? Honest hearts sit cross legged on jagged rocks and stare out into the abyss of the ocean, the horizon a blurry line in the dark of the night. Side by side, a head on my shoulder, hands holding each other. A shiver. Huddle closer. I’m tired of the face I make on late mornings and early nights. If all the light pollution in the sky cleaned up for just a moment you’d see that the weight on my heart spawned galaxies.

By Ashish Seth